Just Call me Sag

ZodiactOne of my writer friends shared with me that her former creative writing teacher couldn’t write a word if her horoscope for the day didn’t say, “Today, you lucky stiff, is a good writing day.” My response was, “Really?” thinking this reason was a very creative way to weasel out of any writing for that entire day, including the lowly grocery list.

So, never having spent much time reading my daily horoscope, I started investigating this phenomenon. I knew that I was born under the sign of Sagittarius but that was about it. My conclusion in a nut shell? What on earth is wrong with the horoscope world?

In the average person’s day (living in America, anyway) everything is current, up-to-the-minute, the latest. Then along comes the horoscope world relying on information from over 2000 years ago. Your zodiac sign corresponds to the position of the sun relative to constellations as they appeared more 2,200 years ago! And that’s before the earth’s wobble manages to throw off who’s in what house, astronomically speaking anyway.

So that would explain why these predictions have a definite vague, indecisive, and generally useless flavor to them. This one-size-fits all, scattershot approach, might have worked early in the last century when communication was slow and everyone was working on the farm. But nowadays, we all are each so unusual, bright, and endlessly entertaining that we simply should not accept such generalized predictions. I say that someone out there in horoscope-writing land should start an on-line business (which could, BTW, be very profitable) by charging for daily, targeted, personalized predictors for perhaps, the vegan, the geologist, or the dedicated stamp-collector. Any gambler heading for the nearest local casino might be smarter to drop a few quarters purchasing their personalized horoscope before tempting fate and that slot machine. And think of the fortunes that could be made on Wall Street.
Years ago, when my spouse and I were preparing for our Catholic nuptials, we had to complete pages upon pages of personality tests to determine if we agreeZodiacd on sex, how to spend our limited monies, and did we want to have kids. One thing over looked was, “Do your circadian rhythms coincide?” If that one thing had been included, we would have known that I am an early-bird-catches-the-worm riser and my husband of fifty years is the burn-the-midnight-oil late to bed type. If only horoscopes then had warned
us of the challenge we might have called the whole thing off. Good thing it didn’t happen.

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